Got to love a cop with a sense of humor!

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers.
The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 ‘You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just
went through.’

15 ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch
after you wear them a while..’

14 ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’

13 ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired..’

12 ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the
speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’

11 ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’

10 ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?’

9 ‘Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that
again or I’ll give you another ticket. ‘

8 ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’

7 ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’

6 ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven.’

5 ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’

4 ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’

3 ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re
allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’

2 ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.’

AND THE WINNER IS….

1. ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we
don’t. Sign here.’

Quote of the day

“I think it’s important to have a goal—
either page count or time—and stick to it.
Consistency and discipline is key.”

-Allison Brennan in an article
in the Romance Writers Report, February 2008

A Question from a blog comment

I received this question the other day and thought everyone would like to read it and my reply:
“This topic is quite hot on the Internet at the moment. What do you pay the most attention to when choosing what to write about?”

Hmmm..I dont think I choose what I will write about, I think that my topics choose me! Or rather, they seem to jump out at me when I sit down to type. For some people choosing what to write can cause them to be blocked. There are so many topics and plots and story lines to choose from. How could I possibly pick just one! I don’t; I write about whatever strikes me at the moment. The thing is to learn enough discipline to finish a project once started. If I am not careful, I can bounce around from project to project and never complete one. Its a struggle! lol. For instance, I currently have 5 different stories in different stages of completion, from being in the plotting stage to being 2/3rds of the way fininshed. I guess the most important thing is to figure out a way of working that suits you and then the ideas will flow!

Quote of the day!

“I didn’t write my first word until I was 35 years old.
I wasted about 10 years before that, when the little
voice in my head was screaming for me to write.
All writers have a little voice their head that drives
them forward. Listen to it.”

-Steve Berry in an article
in Writer’s Digest, May/June 2009

Earth Day Quotes

Every day is Earth Day.  ~Author Unknown

I conceive that the land belongs to a vast family of which many are dead, few are living, and countless numbers are still unborn.  ~A Chieftan from Nigeria

We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.  ~Native American Proverb

There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth.  We are all crew.  ~Marshall McLuhan, 1964

Thank God men cannot fly, and lay waste the sky as well as the earth.  ~Henry David Thoreau

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.  ~Robert Orben

I’m not an environmentalist.  I’m an Earth warrior.  ~Darryl Cherney, quoted in Smithsonian, April 1990

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.  ~Bill Vaughn, quoted in Jon Winokur, The Portable Curmudgeon, 1987

For 200 years we’ve been conquering Nature.  Now we’re beating it to death.  ~Tom McMillan, quoted in Francesca Lyman, The Greenhouse Trap, 1990

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.  ~John Muir, 1913, in L.M. Wolfe, ed., John Muir, John of the Mountains:  The Unpublished Journals of John Muir, 1938

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.  ~Elwyn Brooks White, Essays of E.B. White, 1977

A living planet is a much more complex metaphor for deity than just a bigger father with a bigger fist.  If an omniscient, all-powerful Dad ignores your prayers, it’s taken personally.  Hear only silence long enough, and you start wondering about his power.  His fairness.  His very existence.  But if a world mother doesn’t reply, Her excuse is simple.  She never claimed conceited omnipotence.  She has countless others clinging to her apron strings, including myriad species unable to speak for themselves.  To Her elder offspring She says – go raid the fridge.  Go play outside.  Go get a job.  Or, better yet, lend me a hand.  I have no time for idle whining.  ~David Brin

Till now man has been up against Nature; from now on he will be up against his own nature.  ~Dennis Gabor, Inventing the Future, 1963

Take nothing but pictures.
Leave nothing but footprints.
Kill nothing but time.
~Motto of the Baltimore Grotto, a caving society

Humankind has not woven the web of life.  We are but one thread within it.  Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves.  All things are bound together.  All things connect.  ~Chief Seattle, 1855

Man must feel the earth to know himself and recognize his values…. God made life simple.  It is man who complicates it.  ~Charles A. Lindbergh, Reader’s Digest, July 1972

After a visit to the beach, it’s hard to believe that we live in a material world.  ~Pam Shaw

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.  Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.  ~John Muir

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
~George Carlin

Environmentalists have long been fond of saying that the sun is the only safe nuclear reactor, situated as it is some ninety-three million miles away.  ~Stephanie Mills, ed., In Praise of Nature, 1990

Humanity is on the march, earth itself is left behind.  ~David Ehrenfeld, The Arrogance of Humanism, 1978

It is the safest of times, it is the riskiest of times…. What the Dickens is going on here?  ~Denton Morrison, on chemicals, technology, and risk, quoted in National Academy of Sciences, Improving Risk Communication, 1989

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another.  ~Juvenal, Satires

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage

There is hope if people will begin to awaken that spiritual part of themselves, that heartfelt knowledge that we are caretakers of this planet.  ~Brooke Medicine Eagle

You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet.  ~Hal Borland, Sundial of the Seasons, 1964

And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.  ~William Shakespeare

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.  ~Cree Indian Proverb

Quote for today!

> “Put your butt in the chair and write. > And never mind feeling blocked. > Everyone feels blocked all the time. > Madeline L’Engle once said, > “Inspiration usually comes during work, > rather than before it.” > > -Anna Quindlen in an interview > in Writer’s Digest, October 2006

Spring Cleaning for Writers

Came across this excellent post for writers. Check it out:

http://www.makeminemystery.blogspot.com/

Launch Party Reminder

ep-logo150x300dpi72-copyEternal Press Launch Party
 
Date: Tuesday April 7, 2009
Time: All Day
Repeats: This event repeats every month.
Location: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EternalPressReaders/
Notes: Eternal Press is excited to announce seven sizzling new titles released this month. We invite you to join us for our launch party on the 7th over at our Reader’s email group. Here’s the link: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EternalPressReaders/ We’re partying all day so come chat with our authors; you might win some free stuff!

Quote of the day…this one is important!!!

morning_coffee-1955It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. ~Dave Barry

Quotes for frustrated writers

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
– Douglas Adams

There are two kinds of writer: those that make you think, and those that make you wonder.
– Brian Aldiss

A writer should say to himself, not, How can I get more money?, but How can I reach more readers (without lowering standards)?
– Brian Aldiss

The story…must be a conflict, and specifically, a conflict between the forces of good and evil within a single person.
– Maxwell Anderson

When a man publishes a book, there are so many stupid things said that he declares he’ll never do it again. The praise is almost always worse than the criticism.
– Sherwood Anderson

You know how it is in the kid’s book world; it’s just bunny eat bunny.
– Anonymous

Character gives us qualities, but it is in actions – what we do – that we are happy or the reverse….All human happiness and misery take the form of action.
– Aristotle

Have something to say, and say it as clearly as you can. That is the only secret.
– Matthew Arnold

It is the writer who might catch the imagination of young people, and plant a seed that will flower and come to fruition.
– Isaac Asimov

No one suggests that writing about science will turn the entire world into a model of judgment and creative thought. It will be enough if they spread the knowledge as widely as possible.
– Isaac Asimov

Rejection slips, or form letters, however tactfully phrased, are lacerations of the soul, if not quite inventions of the devil – but there is no way around them.
– Isaac Asimov

To most readers the word ‘fiction’ is an utter fraud. They are entirely convinced that each character has an exact counterpart in real life and that any small discrepancy with that counterpart is a simple error on the author’s part. Consequently, they are totally at a loss if anything essential is altered. Make Abraham Lincoln a dentist, put the Gettysburg Address on his tongue, and nobody will recognize it.
– Louis Auchincloss