Lol Moments

Okay I apologize for the crudeness some of these contain but over all I cracked up at most of em and wanted someone else to read them and think “….right…” and smile also! like 15, 20, 25, 27, 30, and 31 lol…

1. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my
own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you’re wrong.

4. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink
to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks
when they’ve invented the lighter?

5. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.

6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

7. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

8. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

9. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

10. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

11. Was learning cursive really necessary?

12. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to
say”.

13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

14. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I
hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

15. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and
smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

16. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’
examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot.
Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s
G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

17. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
other?

18. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

19. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

20. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

21. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the
shower first and THEN turn on the water.

22. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

23. Bad decisions make good stories

24. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every
year?

25. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a
problem….

26. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive
for the rest of the day.

27. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want
to have to restart my collection.

28. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to.

29. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching
TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I
keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a
matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be
friends after this?’

30. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

31. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

32. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
for pedophiles…

33. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.

34. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.

35. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to
with it.

36. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the
link takes me to a video instead of text.

37. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they
drive behind obeys the speed limit.

38. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

39. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw
they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone
at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then
estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a
large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like
being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

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From Russia With Love

Checked it out on http://www.snopes.com which said, “The item referenced is, indeed, taken from the text of an editorial (entitled, “American Capitalism Gone with a Whimper”) by Stanislaw Mishin which was published by the Russian language Pravda news site on 27 April 2009″. Check for yourself at http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/pravda.asp .

The irony of this article appearing in the English edition of Pravda (Russian on-line newspaper) defies description. Why can a Russian newspaper print the following yet the American media can’t/won’t see it?

American Capitalism Gone With A Whimper

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American descent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. The initial testing grounds was conducted upon our Holy Russia and a bloody test it was. But we Russians would not just roll over and give up our freedoms and our souls, no matter how much money Wall Street poured into the fists of the Marxists.

Those lessons were taken and used to properly prepare the American populace for the surrender of their freedoms and souls, to the whims of their elites and betters.

First, the population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas than the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their “right” to choke down a McDonalds burger or a Burger King burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our “democracy”. Pride blind the foolish.

Then their faith in God was destroyed, until their churches, all tens of thousands of different “branches and denominations” were for the most part little more then Sunday circuses and their televangelists and top protestant mega preachers were more then happy to sell out their souls and flocks to be on the “winning” side of one pseudo Marxist politician or another. Their flocks may complain, but when explained that they would be on the “winning” side, their flocks were ever so quick to reject Christ in hopes for earthly power. Even our Holy Orthodox churches are scandalously liberalized in America .

The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America ‘s short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Weimar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, losses, and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more then ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

These men, of course, are not an elected panel but made up of appointees picked from the very financial oligarchs and their henchmen who are now gorging themselves on trillions of American dollars, in one bailout after another. They are also usurping the rights, duties, and powers of the American congress (parliament). Again, congress has put up little more than a whimper to their masters.

Then came Barack Obama’s command that GM’s (General Motors) president step down from leadership of his company. That is correct, dear reader, in the land of “pure” free markets, the American president now has the power, the self-given power, to fire CEOs and we can assume other employees of private companies, at will. Come hither, go dither, the centurion commands his minions.

So it should be no surprise, that the American president has followed this up with a “bold” move of declaring that he and another group of unelected, chosen stooges will now redesign the entire automotive industry and will even be the guarantee of automobile policies. I am sure that if given the chance, they would happily try and redesign it for the whole of the world, too. Prime Minister Putin, less then two months ago, warned Obama and UK ‘s Blair, not to follow the path to Marxism, it only leads to disaster. Apparently, even though we suffered 70 years of this Western sponsored horror show, we know nothing, as foolish, drunken Russians, so let our “wise” Anglo-Saxon fools find out the folly of their own pride.

Again, the American public has taken this with barely a whimper…but a “free man” whimper.

So, should it be any surprise to discover that the Democratically controlled Congress of America is working on passing a new regulation that would give the American Treasury department the power to set “fair” maximum salaries, evaluate performance, and control how private companies give out pay raises and bonuses? Senator Barney Frank, a social pervert basking in his homosexuality (of course, amongst the modern, enlightened American societal norm, as well as that of the general West, homosexuality is not only not a looked down upon life choice, but is often praised as a virtue) and his Marxist enlightenment, has led this effort. He stresses that this only affects companies that receive government monies, but it is retroactive and taken to a logical extreme, this would include any company or industry that has ever received a tax break or incentive.

The Russian owners of American companies and industries should look thoughtfully at this and the option of closing their facilities down and fleeing the land of the Red as fast as possible. In other words, divest while there is still value left.

The proud American will go down into his slavery without a fight, beating his chest, and proclaiming to the world, how free he really is. The world will only snicker.

Stanislav Mishin© 1999-2009.. «PRAVDA.Ru». When reproducing our materials in whole or in part, hyperlink to PRAVDA.Ru should be made. The opinions and views of the authors do not always coincide with the point of view of PRAVDA.Ru’s editors.

27.04.2009Source:Pravda.RuURL: http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/107459-american_capitalism-0

William Wordsworth

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

Gertrude Stein on Writing

keeponwriting“Write without thinking of the result
in terms of a result,
but think of the writing
in terms of discovery,

which is to say that creation
must take place
between the pen and the paper,

not before in a thought
or afterwards in a recasting…

It will come if it is there
and if you will let it come.”

Gertrude Stein

Quote of the day

Quote of the day

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
Henry David Thoreau